ROCK BAND - REVIEW - PS3 - 9.5/10

A few months ago Chris invited me over to play a little game called Guitar Hero 2, before playing it I didn't really think that it was the kind of game I'd be into - ten minutes later the only thought in my head was to rush out and buy my own copy.But it never happened I kept putting off getting the game because there was this thing called Rock Band coming out in November. The wait was long, life seemed pointless. What the fuck was I supposed to do until this game came out? Since it came out, I haven't once thought about that other game....What the hell was it called again? It's simple, when you are not playing Rock Band, you are thinking about playing it. By the way, Chris, can we please change the name of the site to "Rock Band Over Girls"?

There is so much in the game, that if I were to break it down and give it the proper review that it deserves , it would end up being about six pages long - so let me just touch on the most important aspects.

Drums - The real star of Rock Band is the drum kit it ships with. I am not a drummer, before I played this game, to see me play the drums, let's just say I wouldn't look out of place on the short bus with the rest of the retarded children. Now I feel like the drummer from Def Leopard, I still suck, but people applaud me because I do alright with my handicap and they feel sorry for me. I suppose the only gripe I have, is that the bass pedal sometimes doesn't register when I'm pretty fucking sure that I hit it at the right time.

Guitar - The big argument on the internets, is that the Guitar Hero cheap piece of plastic is way better than the Rock Band cheap piece of plastic. Yes, the strum bar on the RB guitar is shitty, but the fret board is way more comfy. Also, I see many people complaining that RB guitar is too easy compared to GH difficulty - agreed, but I suck anyway, so it's a welcome "problem" for me.

Microphone - It's cool to be just like the assholes you see singing karaoke, but I do wish there was an option to remove the vocals so you can be that asshole. Also, I wish the words scrolling across the screen were a bit bigger.

Bass - Hey, bass player. Look at the bass player. Look at that smile, there's sadness in that smile. Look at that chord structure, there's sadness in that chord structure. Look at him flail like the wailin' wall with nothin' but stubby fingers and a dumb look on his face. He don't know it but he's balding...spiritually. But everybody hates the bass player. No one invites the bass player to the party after the show.

Bruce: Hey, what are you guys doin' after the show? Oh, nothin'? Okay.

Songs - Fan-Fucking-Tastic!!! I'm not going to list them all, but most of them are really good, and the ones that aren't that good are still fun to play. But....there is not enough Box O' Wine in the world to wash away the pain that comes with playing the 45 minute Train Kept A-Rollin'

Multi Vs. Single player - Believe it or not, single player is better because your H-mo friends can't come and take the drums away from you. All joking aside, it should come as no surprise that multiplayer is the better way to go, acting like an asshole with your friends is always more fun than solo-asshole. Don't shit on single player though, it's incredibly satisfying to practice getting better at whatever instrument you fancy.

DOWNLOADS - Harmonix, Keep em coming, I can't be the only jerkoff that will buy every single song that is released. Do me a favor though, there is a world of great songs in the underground music scene that I'm sure would cost next to nothing to secure the rights to.

Songs I would LOVE to see in Rock Band

Alkaline Trio - Private Eye, This Could Be Love, Cringe.

Jimmy Eat World - Pain, Sweetness (demo version please), The Authority Song (also demo version)

Green Day - She, When I Come Around, Holiday.

Descendents - Hope, Cameage, Clean Sheets.

Nofx - Liza and Louise, Punk Rock Elite, Moron Brothers.

Jawbreaker - Accident Prone, I Love You So Much It's Killing Us Both, Boxcar.

J Church - Foreign Films, No Surprise, Open Road.

Yes, I realize that the only songs that have a chance are the Green Day songs, BLOW ME!