Go play Super Mario 64....GO NOW, I'll be here when you get back. Ooooh sweeet mama, Tia Tanaka, I would love to eat your assho- OH SHIT, you're back.... um.... I wasn't doing anything, why, what did you hear? Now go play Super Mario Galaxy, this time give me a little more time to uh.... finish up. OK, do you understand why I made you go play them? To prove a little point, Super Mario 64 is a far more satisfying experience and was made over 10 years ago. I realize that it's a different game and it should be judged on it's own merits, but I can't sit here and give a game , that's inferior in almost every way, a score that's anything higher than a 6.
Look, Nintendo is still probably the best software company in the world, but you wouldn't know it by the shit they've been shoveling out over the past year or so. Where are the games for the hardcore? Is this it? Nintendo, you are on probation until you get your act together and get back to the greatness you once were. Now on with the review.
Graphics - The graphics are actually pretty good, the only problem I have with them is that the worlds are way too small to soak them up. I really enjoy the way the teeny tiny levels look as you shoot into them as you start, and when you use the star-cannons to shoot you around it also.
Sound - Most of the music is forgettable, the only high points are the little music notes that play an oldschool Super Mario tune from yesteryear, that was awesome.
Controls - The controls would be great.... if you were able to play this game with a normal controller and not with this dildo of an abomination. After about 12 hours of play, it still doesn't feel right, GOOD GOD I want to play with the Game Cube pad again.
Gameplay - It's just not that fun, Why are the levels so short? Just when I'm starting to get into it, the level is over. Believe me, I wanted so badly for something to justify purchasing that little white shit box, this ain't it! If Smash Bros. Brawl sucks I'm going to off myself.
Overall - Pass, they really shit the bed on this one. There are better games to play, go get some older Game Cube games, I suggest Eternal Darkness, Metroid Prime, even Super Mario Sunshine is worth playing over this, and that game SUCKED!
In closing I would also like to say that there is probably not a bigger fan of Nintendo than I (I have 2 Zelda tattoos to prove it), so save your mail bombs for someone else. I just want everyone to wake up and smell the cat crap, there is a reason we hold Nintendo to a higher standard and I just hope they remember their loyal fanbase when it comes time to make the next system.
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