1.Earl used to work with me at GameStop, expect many MANY funny stories of 3-4 wasted years in retail.*Most of them are stories of dumb, ugly customers. And boy are there some doozies!
2.Earl is getting married at some point in the future?!
*One can only assume that Earl forgot to look at the name of our site, I mean c'mon dude it's games over girls...over!!!
3. Seriously, who would even bother getting married anyway?
*It all comes down to insecurity really. Look, nobody wants to die alone, but when you weigh the options of being able to beat-off every night, drink yourself stupid, fart, and shower at your own pace vs. losing half of your shit, WHERE ARE YOUR FUCKING BRAINS? (I write this as I weep beside my cats alone. So very alone)
4.Earl is BLACK?!?!?!
*Ah yes, tis true. Sadly Earl was in a horrific accident at an oil refinery on his way to a Milky Way convention...at night. Some good will come out of this, the terms "Darky", "Spook", "Jig", "Spade", and "Jungle Bunny" can all be used freely in his presence and when talking about him - but not the N-word, we don't want to offend him or anything.
Welcome aboard Earl, I can't wait to get you down here for the podcast recording. Oh, and if the girl you are marrying is white, she better be one of those fat ugly white-trash girls that you blacks seem to like so much. If not, she better have a hot 12 year old sister for me to fondle....18, I meant 18.
*-Editors note
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